


Got My Brain In A Daze

by orphan_account



Category: Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 14:53:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7849450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Victor Aldertree walks into the Institute when they lack their best Shadowhunter and are on the hunt for a man that seems to be five steps ahead of them at all times. Of course, this is the time Raj's heart chooses to fall in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Got My Brain In A Daze

**Author's Note:**

> This is a birthday gift for Kareena!  
> Also, I am totally on board with this ship that is based off of nothing.

Victor Aldertree strides into the Institute on a Thursday, smiles, and Simon standing next to Luke, says, "Holy shit!"  
It earns him a dirty look from Alec, an encouraging smile from Isabelle, an amused _giggle_ from Luke and a proud smile from Clary. Raj, standing five metres away from the group, though, finds himself inclined to agree. 

Because _holy shit_ is right and might just be the best description for the first impression Victor Aldertree makes, Raj decides.

He shrugs out of his suit jacket, throws a blinding smile at Lydia and then Maryse, before he looks over their heads and takes his time to assess everyone else's faces.

When Victor's eyes land on him, Raj doesn't move a muscle, his hands still clasped behind his back. Victor's eyebrow twitches. 

*

"We've had five occurrences all over the city this night," Lydia announces in front of the collective Institute gathered before the screens showing five kinds of bad news that Raj observes with even breathing. It's more than usual, of course, but nothing they haven't seen before. It makes the prospect of Valentine's future plans that much more frightening. 

Victor is lounging, and there is really no other word for it, right up front, while Maryse stands next to Robert with a stiff lip.

"That means we will need almost everyone out in the field today, except for a select few who need to make sure that Valentine isn't trying to lure us away from our base and is going to attempt a takeover," Lydia continues. "We can't allow these singular incidents to continue to happen. We need to be able to focus on our primary target."

They all know what the primary target is.   
The boat. Valentine's boat. 

Just as they know that Lydia isn't saying the exact words, because every time she does, Alec shuts down and Isabelle raises her head that much higher. Clary doesn't flinch anymore, but she looks angrier from day to day. Raj thinks it's her barrier keeping her from breaking down.

"As expected," Lydia says and swallows visibly, "all of these involve Downworlders, so I am _urging_ you to approach this sensibly. Remember, we don't know what they're going through." 

She assigns the lead in the seelie case to Isabelle, earning herself a gracious nod and a quiet smile. Alec and Clary are sent to collaborate with the werewolves, Lydia takes charge of the first drained warlock and slides the second one over to Mayhew.   
Victor raises his hand for the dead Forsaken and Raj gets stuck in his team. He guesses there are worse things. He never did know how to console grieving people. 

*

"Let's get the whole body back to the Institute," Victor instructs, flipping open his notepad.  
"So, Raj," he says casually, like it's not strange at all that he knows Raj's name without asking, "your parents run the Mumbai Institute, right?"

Raj looks up from where he's crouching next to the Forsaken's head.  
"My mom does, at the moment," he says with a pang in his chest that he firmly ignores. "My dad wants to go back to Idris, though, they're moving in two months."  
Victor makes an interested noise. "Are you going to go with them?"

"There's an injection wound here," Raj says and ignores Victor's chuckle. "Looks like one of Valentine's experiments."   
"Experiments?" His voice is closer suddenly, like he's leaning in over Raj. Raj doesn't look.  
"Did that not get back to the Clave yet?"

"If my impression is correct, there is a lot going on here that doesn't get back to the Clave." Raj grits his teeth and narrowly avoids tensing up. When he throws a look back at Victor, though, there are eyes laughing back at him. It doesn't seem like he minds not having full control over everything. It's a rather welcome change from... everyone.

*

Two days later Raj stands in the kitchen, redoing the knot of his apron behind his back when Victor comes rushing in, turning twice before he runs a hand through his hair.  
"You looking for something?" Raj asks, fearing he's going to have to witness a rummaging through the entire kitchen.  
"Coffee." Victor looks up and when his eyes meet Raj's he beams at him like nobody's business. "I need coffee. If you could point me to the machine. _Please._ " 

There is so much desperation in his voice that Raj smiles to himself.   
"It's right there on the counter in front of you."   
Victor lowers his arms and looks at Raj with wide eyes. " _Thank you_ ," he whispers and Raj can't help himself, he snorts before he can stop it from coming out. Victor looks extraordinarily pleased with himself and Raj thinks he's ridiculous. 

*

"I owe you my life." 

The problem with Victor is that despite his over-the-top statements, he always seems sincere. The problem with Victor is that Raj is inclined to believe him when he speaks. The problem with Victor is that Raj almost thinks he could trust him.

"That's... dramatic," he answers instead of saying any of those things.

"I'm serious, though, the amount of paperwork Valentine is producing all by himself is insane."  
Raj nods seriously. "His true secret weapon."

The laugh that follows is unexpected and thrilling and Victor is sitting way too close for this and Raj... doesn't mind. Victor's laughter is thrumming through his veins and none of the other noises the Institute usually generates are getting through to his ears and this is _bad_.

*

The demon goes up in flames and Raj draws back his blade. He helps Lydia up from the floor without a word and she nods at him before patting herself down.

They turn around in unison when they hear a gleeful, "Whoo!" Victor drops down from the ceiling, two sets of throwing knives stuck in the ground where he threw them on the demon that's shriveling up and dissolving into dust.

"How is he still having so much fun with this?" Lydia asks with a fond smile.  
"I don't think he thinks it's fun," Raj replies against his better judgement. "I think he just feels free like this."

He ignores Lydia's sharp look.

*

"So, Alexander Lightwood and Magnus Bane, huh?"   
Raj shoots Victor a dry look. "Subtle."  
"What?" Victor grins and scoots closer so that he's literally at the edge of his seat, leaning over the small table between his and Raj's chair. "I'm curious. How did that happen?"

Frankly, Raj is surprised that Victor's asking _him_. His eye for people and relationships is usually uncanny. Surely he must have noticed the lacking closeness between Raj and the Lightwood siblings. So really, when Raj thinks about it, he has no idea how it happened. He looks at Victor looking at him, eyes blazing with glee. He does have the pivotal moment, though.

"The short version, I'm pretty sure, is, Clary comes here and brings Valentine's return with her. She finds out that Magnus took her memories, Alec and Magnus meet, Alec proposes to Lydia because he thinks it's the most beneficial match for both of them, they're just about to get married when Magnus comes in, Alec abandons all rational thought and starts making out with the high warlock of Brooklyn in the middle of the Institute full of the most traditional Shadowhunters."

Victor laughs and Raj can't look away.   
"You have such a poetic knack for epic love stories," Victor teases, before he lowers his eyebrows like two thunderclouds. "Though, you sound disapproving."  
"What?" Raj puts down his glass of water and folds his hands.  
"The way you talk about them, you don't seem to be a big fan of what transpired." 

Raj's stomach plummets.

His voice is scratchy and painfully honest, when he says, "That's not what it is, actually."

Victor leans back and Raj can't say anything else, but when he looks up the brightness in Victor's eyes is still there, the light getting caught in his earring.

*

Maryse gets off the phone and sounds the alarm without a moment of pause.  
Raj knows what it means the moment he sees Clary go pale and staggering back into Simon. So does Victor. His hand is solid on Raj's elbow and when Raj takes a look at him there isn't a trace of humor on his face.

They found him. This is it.

They suit up in silence and Lydia and Raj flank Victor on their way out of the Institute.

Luke Garroway meets them at the port, drawing Jocelyn, Clary and Simon close one after another.  
"They're beautiful," Victor whispers into Raj's ear and Raj _shivers_ and this is really not the time.  
"They're an exception," he says and moves away.

When they're about to board the ship Lydia squeezes his hand and doesn't look at him, the vampires in their load starting to crawl up the walls. They get off their seats, Victor grabbing the first of the smoke bombs.   
Just when he's about to board, he turns around and looks at them in bewilderment.   
"I can't think of a witty one liner," he says like that's the biggest problem on his hands.

Lydia's seraph blade screeches when it comes out of its sheath. "I don't think that's a necessary requirement." Victor shrugs and throws.

*

Raj has never been one for throwing himself into battle. He likes looking, he likes watching, he likes staking out and developing a plan. His fighting instincts don't rely on emotion.

Here, on this boat, though, it's different.  
Here, there is no definite plan. Here, there are only demons. Here, there is only avoiding the one deadly hit that could come at any time from any side.

He doesn't know how long it lasts. After a while it's only looking and slashing, trying to ignore the pain, trying to recognize who needs help the most.  
 _How is anyone going to get out of this alive?_ he thinks and knows the answer, but he's not going to focus on it because no matter what, he has to take as many with him as he _can_.

Then the walls split open.

There's a vampire next to him and she almost falls, almost dies. Raj makes a grab for her and hurls her onto safe ground, writhing and panting and somehow, he manages to keep standing on two feet. 

But the walls don't stop, the screws and metal plates falling apart make Raj's ears ring and-  
"We need to get off," he says to no one in particular, but then he yells, " _Everybody off!_ "

He sees people jumping and he sees people holding on.   
_Save as many as you can. Take as any with you as you can. Duty binds us all._

He looks down at the vampire still lying on the floor.  
 _Bullshit._

The feeling of dread he's managed to push down until now filling up his stomach.  
 _Let's hope you really are immortal._  
He pushes her off the deck, into the water.

A horrible sound behind him replaces the ringing in his ears, loud and ugly, and then there's something else.

" _Raj_!"

He vaguely registers the figure jumping in front of him while he stumbles back. His eyes don't focus until the figure falls and the creature they fought turns to dust.

It's Victor.  
Of course it is. 

Victor is lying on the floor. There is blood. His leg is at an awkward angle. 

Raj is falling.

And the only thing he's able to get out is something toneless, something almost silent, something pathetically devoid of feeling.

"No."

*

It's Isabelle who comes outside, twenty minutes after Raj has sat down on the stairs in front of the Institute. She lowers herself down to sit next to him, her arm in a sling, her gaze inquisitive when she looks at him. He's seen that one before.   
How it cracks people, how Jace runs a hand through his hair before he tells her what she wants to know, how Alec looks around them to assess their environment before he leans closer, how Clary melts under it and leans her head against Isabelle's shoulder. Raj wonders if Isabelle does the same thing when they're alone. 

"He's going to be okay," she says and by some miracle it doesn't sound meaningless. Raj nods and clutches his hands. 

"Did you get Jace?" He didn't see him when everyone got back to the Institute. There had been too many Shadowhunters, too many werewolves, too many vampires, too many of his senses taken in by Victor. "Did you get _Valentine_?"  
"Yes," she says, "and no."

"He needs to die," Raj says and faintly registers the bitterness in his voice.  
"You're never going to hear me argue that point."

*

The infirmary is filled to the brim for two weeks. After that the number of the heavily injured start to dwindle. 

Jace spent a week in the infirmary, with a steadily rotating circle of visitors every day and in the nights Simon comes and sends Alec or Clary or Isabelle or Luke to bed with a surprisingly firm hand. After he watches them go, Raj observes, he always looks down at Jace for ten, twenty, thirty seconds, before he leaves. Until the third day, when Jace's hand shoots out and he holds on.

It hurts to look at.

Raj turns back to his book.

*

Victor is fully conscious four weeks after the battle.  
"Hey," he greets Raj and somehow manages to make it sound cheerful despite being pale, injured and dehydrated.  
The room around them is quiet at six a.m., all the other recovering Shadowhunters still sleeping and Raj is only here because he couldn't sleep again. A lot of people have that problem nowadays, but the infirmary isn't that popular of a haven. When he comes here at night he's usually alone.

And suddenly he can't take it anymore, because four weeks is a _long_ time and here is Victor, and he can talk, and he can _smile_ and Raj has never been prepared to deal with this.  
He sinks to the floor next to Victor's bed, and his forehead meets Victor's palm.

"Hey," Victor says again, his hand warm.

*

There's a knock on Raj's door and he knows who it is before he opens. Victor is leaning against the doorframe with one shoulder and he's wearing the lopsided smile, the one that he never lets other people see, the one that deepens his laughter lines.  
"You ready?"

Raj steps out of the way to give Victor the full view of his packed bags. "All ready."

Victor pushes himself off of the wall and winces. Raj takes an automatic step forward and slides a hand up Victor's arm.   
"It's fine," Victor insists, but doesn't shake off Raj's hand. Rather, he wraps his other arm around Raj's neck and pulls him in.   
"I'm really happy you're coming," he says into his ear and nuzzles his shoulder.

Raj grabs him at the waist.  
"I'm really happy you're alive."


End file.
